The Business of Waking Up Alone
by DefectedDegenerate
Summary: When she needed him the most he wasn't there. She has to decide whether or not she is going to forgive him or leave him just like he left her. Kili/OC
1. Prologue

_**I only own Miera (pronounced Mee-ra) I don't own the Hobbit or any of the related characters.**_

**Prologue**

None of us knew our home of Erebor; we only knew the quiet of our village among the mountains. The village was ruled by Thorin son of Thrain, King under the Mountain. Among the villagers was his sister Dis and her two sons, Fili and Kili. They were the only friends I had in the whole village. We caused too much trouble but Thorin grew very fond of our trio. That day started off like any other, quiet and peaceful and perfect for pranks. Unfortunately there was no time for pranks that day.

"Good day Miera!" Fili called. I waved at the blonde dwarf and his brown haired brother as I skipped over to them.

"Good morning boys! So what is on today's schedule?" I asked happily. They shared a look before Kili looked down at me pompously.

"We don't have time for your childish pranks Miera! We are off to begin training with Uncle!" he said gleefully. I huffed in annoyance and they shoved me away from them and marched down the hill chattering happily. I felt angry tears well up in my eyes and I let them fall as my only two friends walked away from me.

My day was dreadful! I was lonely and all of the other children hated me because the princes and I had pulled pranks on them at one point or another. I wandered around by myself for several hours trying to find something to occupy myself. I contemplated going down to the training grounds to watch the boys but I decided against it after I thought about their attitude toward me earlier. I plopped down in the tall grass that swayed just outside of the village and stared at the star speckled sky bored out of my mind. That was when I heard the sirens. Sirens meant only one thing; mountain trolls… and mountain trolls were not nice. I jumped to my feet and sprinted toward my home.

I arrived outside praying that my mother and sister would be fine but the blood-curdling scream told me otherwise. I turned to see my mother dangling helplessly from the giant hand of a disgustingly fat troll. She looked terrified and tears were streaming down her face. She was staring at the ground and I followed her line of sight to see a small doll lying in the dirt. That doll was the gift I gave to my sister after she was born. I felt tears spill over and I let a scream escape my mouth. My mother's head snapped up when she heard it and her eyes got wider with fear.

"Run Miera! Please run!" she yelled. I felt sobs racking my body and I was shaking my head 'no' but my feet were shuffling backwards. The troll was too busy deciding on how he was going to eat her to notice me and within two seconds he had decided and dropped her into his mouth. He bit down and I heard her agonizing screams and the crunching of her bones in between his teeth. My mind went numb and the screams and bloodshed around me went right over my head as I comprehended the scene before me. The only family I had left in this whole world was gone and I had just witnessed their demise.

Suddenly her last words rang in my mind and I picked up the last bit of strength I had left and I ran in the opposite direction of the troll and toward the training grounds. I had made it to the giant stone under the large oak tree that Kili, Fili, and I used to play under as children. I saw Thorin ushering them to the woods with the rest of the village but I was stuck in my spot. Kili turned around and I caught his eye. He tapped his uncle and pointed toward me. Thorin looked at me with wide eyes and motioned for the boys to stay put as he ran toward me. He hadn't quite reached me yet when I heard a sickening crack and I turned to see the large oak tree leaning in my direction. It was beginning to give way to the fire that the trolls had set and I knew it was going to crush me. I watched in horror, unable to move, as it fell. Thorin tried to run faster but it was to no avail; the tree fell right on top of me.

"MIERA! NO!" I heard Kili scream. I looked through the leaves to see tears streaming down his face as he ran toward me. Fili tried to drag him back but he broke free and began sprinting. I smiled slightly at the fact that he was going to come and save me and I waited for him. He was almost to me when his uncle picked him up and ran toward the forest.

"Kili!" I tried to shout. I saw something flash in his eyes and I knew that if I was louder he would hear me. "KILI!" I screamed. His head snapped toward me as did his uncle's. Thorin set him down and he let his head hang. He walked away into the forest with his brother and his uncle leaving me behind. "Kili…" I called softly. I felt fresh tears run down my cheeks. He abandoned me… he left me to die while out village burned.


	2. Reunited

_**I only own Miera; I do not own any characters, places, things, or ideas from The Hobbit.**_

**Chapter 1**

My heart stopped as I heard the men around me talking. I heard them mention a man named Thorin and there was something else about a group of dwarves. I listened for anything else but no more information came from their drunken mouths. I knocked back the rest of the whiskey in front of me and let it burn its way down my throat as I pushed back from my table in the secluded part of the inn I was currently staying at. I made my way upstairs and to my room. Tomorrow was going to be a big day for me, I was departing from the Prancing Pony in the quiet little village of Bree and I was heading toward Hobbiton, the place where the dwarves were supposedly heading.

I stripped off my cloak and boots and I crawled under the thin scratchy covers and into the badly stained bed. I closed my eyes and as I drifted off into sleep I had flashbacks of that terrible day 50 years prior. I heard the screams and I saw the blazing fire spread and inch its way toward me. It licked my face and arms as I let out screams and tried to brush it off. I shot up covered in cold sweat and wrapped up in my covers. I was unconsciously rubbing away invisible flames and I could feel the tracks on my face from where the tears had fallen. I wiped away the feeling of them and I looked toward my window to see that it was still dark but that it would be dawn soon. I got up out of my bed and pulled on my boots and cloak making my way over to the mirror. I ran a hand through my long red hair brushing out the tangles and I re-did the two small braids that ran from the top of my head to the back and met dangling down over the rest of my hair and down my back in one long braid. I grabbed my things and quietly treaded down the stairs and paid the inn keeper for the night.

I walked outside and to the stables. I saddled up my small horse Mioniel and I saw that the sun was just barely breaking over the horizon. I mounted her and directed her out of the stables and toward the gate. I nodded at the gatekeeper and he opened the door for me. I set out toward Hobbiton at a gallop trying not to overwork Mioniel from our last journey we made from Rivendell. I wasn't completely sure what I was going to say to Thorin, a man I hadn't seen in 50 years, or the dwarves he was traveling with for that matter. I knew, though, that whatever I did say would put my mind and heart at ease and maybe, just maybe, I would stop having the terrible nightmares that have haunted me since that dreadful night so long ago. I think that was why I had to see him; I had to get these nightmares to stop. I knew that Hobbiton was about an hour and a half away at the pace I was going so I had plenty of time to come up with something to say.

The sun was well above my head by now and I was keeping a sharp eye out for anything out of the ordinary. I was riding through the woods but ever since I was little I have never trusted trees so I was even more jumpy than usual. I heard several voices up ahead and I slowed Mioniel to a trot. As we came into a clearing I saw them; several dwarves on small horses, a wizard, and a hobbit. I smiled to myself and rode closer. It took a while for any of them to notice me and when they did they all became silent. I saw Thorin at the lead and I made my way toward him. He sent a glare toward me and I saw that his face carried more wrinkles, parts of his hair were gray, and he looked more troubled now than he ever did. I rode up to him and bowed as much as I could while still on horseback.

"Who are you?" he asked quite loudly puffing out his chest and trying to assert authority. I smiled at him trying not to laugh; this was not the Thorin that I knew as a child.

"You do not recognize me? Granted, it has been about 5 decades, but I haven't changed that much. I know who you are Thorin, son of Thrain." I said. By this time the dwarves were riding closer trying to look at me better. Thorin now looked utterly confused so I continued on. "I am Miera, daughter of Miena, and I am not your enemy." I said bowing lowly. He quietly gasped and shook his head as if he was in a dream. He jumped down from his horse, as did I, and he stepped closer to me. He studied my face and I saw a small tear roll down his cheek. His hand shot out and grasped my arm and he pulled me toward him and encompassed me in a hug.

"I thought you had perished. I thought you were gone. Oh Miera, I am so sorry." He said into my hair. I was taken aback by the sudden show of emotion but I hugged him back all the same. I pulled back from him as two dwarves walked up to us. One was blonde and had braids in his hair and mustache while the other had brown hair and no beard or mustache or anything, just stubble. They both looked familiar and Thorin stepped back and looked at them.

"Did you say your name was Miera?" the blonde one asked. I nodded hesitantly and he just gawked at me.

"Aye, she did boys." Thorin said. He turned back to me and motioned to them. "These two dwarves are Fili and Kili, your old friends. Do you remember them?" he asked. My mind went blank. Memories of that day burst back into my mind and I nodded.

"I do remember them. I hope you have been well." I said icily. They both looked confused but Kili stepped closer to me.

"We have. What happened to you Miera? Where have you been hiding all of this time?" he asked quietly, going to grab my arm. I jerked away from him and Thorin saw the hate in my eyes.

"Do not ask her questions boys; I'm sure she would rather not talk about it. Miera, I would like to talk to you privately." He said. I nodded and he and I walked a little further into the woods. I studied the trees warily and he grabbed my arm. I unconsciously jerked away from him and then promptly apologized to him.

"No, no, it's fine my dear. I want to talk to you about this quest we are going on. I understand that you have been through many rough times in your life and if you decline I will completely understand. I just know that you don't have any family and I thought, maybe, that you would consider joining us in retaking Erebor. If we succeed you would be welcome to stay with us, we could be your family. I remember the little girl you used to be and losing you was like losing a daughter. I don't want to lose you again Miera. I cannot promise your safety but I can promise that I will do everything in my power to try and save you." He said to me, speaking softly.

"Just like you saved me 50 years ago?" I spat out before I could stop myself. He looked hurt and his hopeful expression drooped slightly.

"I know that I failed you, I've been ashamed of myself every day after that. I would just like another chance to protect you. I know that you never had a father to be there for you because he died in the battle. I was there you know. I held him as he took his last breath. He asked me to watch after you, he asked me to be a father to you. I promised him that I would. I thought after that night that I had let him down but now I've got another chance to keep my promise. Please let me do that Miera." He pleaded. I knew that I was crying and I knew that I looked weak but at that point I didn't care. I hugged Thorin tightly and he hugged me back. I pulled back and smiled sadly at him.

"Okay." Was all I said. He gave me time to gather myself and we walked back out into the clearing. I mounted my horse and the company started off again. I rode beside Thorin because I saw that Kili and Fili were whispering heatedly and pointing in my direction. I knew that they wanted to ride next to me but I wasn't going to give them the chance; especially not Kili.


	3. Catching Up

_**I only own Miera. I want to thank all the people that have continuously reviewed so far, you al make me very happy!**_

**Chapter 2**

Catching up with Thorin was harder than I had expected. I had never had anyone to tell of my journeys so when he asked I became quite baffled and tongue tied. I told him of my many encounters with orcs, how I had traveled to Minas Tirith and dined with the Steward, how I had learned swordplay and how to shoot a bow. He seemed impressed with the whole ordeal and assured me that it was quite a relief that he didn't have to worry about me as much as he previously thought. I was hoping beyond all hope that he wouldn't bring up the one thing that I did NOT want to talk about. I did not wish hard enough.

"My dear Miera, it has boggled me, you have told me of your many adventures but the one thing that you have not relayed to me yet was how you escaped that day. How did you survive?" he asked looking at me sadly from the corner of his eye. By this time the other dwarves had heard the question and remained silent, hoping to hear the answer. I swallowed back my fear and pride and told him exactly what happened on that day, 50 years prior.

"The tree had fallen, and I was buried beneath it. I was barely alive as it was but after you left with the princes the flames started to inch toward me. They, well it was a harsh business. I thought I was going to die, I thought that I was done for. All the trolls had fled, you see. Trolls, by normal standards, are not smart; but mountain trolls… they are complete dunces. Well the fire they had set was starting to get a little out of hand so they were frightened and ran back to the filthy holes they had crawled out of. I had completely stopped struggling now and was just lying limply when I felt strong arms pull me from the branches. It was a troop of soldiers… elfish soldiers. They took me back to Rivendell with them and I was cared for. That's where I've been most of my life. That's where I was trained. I was also sent to Mirkwood to train with young Prince Legolas. He is the most skilled being I have ever met, especially with a bow and arrow." I told them. They were none too happy about the elf part but when I turned to see their reaction I found Kili fuming. I took note of his bow and arrow and slightly smiled to myself.

"So you lived with… with traitors your whole life!?" Thorin asked appalled. I smiled at him and nodded kindly. He began fuming as well and I smiled to myself again. I had completely forgiven Thorin but seeing him get mad at the hospitality of elves was funny to me. We continued on for a few more hours before coming to a small weathered shack. Thorin stopped his horse and dismounted. I followed suit as did Gandalf and we walked around a bit. "We camp here for the night." He instructed. Some of the dwarves began to make a fire and Thorin turned to me. "Miera, Kili, Fili, you all go and watch the ponies!" he shouted. I went to protest but he sent me a look that told me not to question him. I huffed in anger and grabbed a few of the ponies' leads and took them to a paddock that was surrounded by trees just up the hill.

I heard whispering behind me and it took all of my strength not to snap at them to shut it. I led the ponies into the paddock and closed the gate. There was a fallen tree nearby so I hopped up on it and turned toward the ponies keeping a sharp eye on them as Thorin had instructed. More ponies joined the ones in the paddock and I heard footsteps behind me. I felt a hand on my arm and before they had time to say anything I had yanked my arm away and stomped toward the fence, placing a foot on the bottom rail and leaning against it.

"It would be wise to keep your hands to yourself, young prince." I said icily. I heard the footsteps again and soon a dwarf was on either side of me,

"What is your problem Miera? What have we done to offend you so much? Why do you hate us?" I heard a voice ask. I turned to see that it was Fili. I glared at him and directed my sight back toward the ponies.

"I don't hate you! I just dislike you for the moment. It's your brother that I hate." I said. I heard a gasp and Kili was closer to me within seconds.

"Me!? What have I ever do to you!?" he shouted. I turned to face him and sent him a glare.

"Shove off. I'm watching the ponies." I said. He scoffed as I turned back around. I heard scuttling and then a stick was thrown on the ground next to me. I looked down at it and then up at a smiling Fili and Kili. They nodded toward it and I picked it up and looked at them.

"Come on, it was our favorite game when we were little. Remember we used to pretend they were snakes and scare people. It was our favorite prank ever!" Kili said. I looked at him icily for a second before replying.

"I don't have time for your childish pranks." I said, repeating their words to me when I was little and snapping the branch across my knee throwing it toward them. Their smiles faded and they walked off into the woods somewhere. I looked down at my hands and sighed. I felt my knees getting weaker and I knew that if I didn't stop this moping I would begin to cry. I straightened up and kept watching the ponies until I heard a twig snap. Fili and Kili were trying to get me to play with them like we were kids… frankly I was sick of this nonsense. I spun around ready to give them the reprimanding of a lifetime when I was met with a large sickly grey colored knee. I looked up to see a troll smiling down at me. I went to grab my sword by he had snatched me up before I could.

"Oh my… KILI! FILI! HELP ME!" I screamed as loudly as I could. I was carried into a clearing where two more trolls sat. I looked around to see that they had some of our ponies and that there was a roaring fire. I was terrified, I did not want to die this was. This was the end. I heard another twig snap and I looked toward where the noise came from. Thank the lord. Bilbo Baggins was sneaking in… I was saved! Wait, where is he…? The ponies! Are you joking with me? He's going to save the ponies!? I have lost all faith in hobbits. I waited for him to flee with the horses but that didn't happen either, in fact he didn't even make it to the horses! I looked to my new "dangling buddy" as I would like to call him and smiled.

"Hello there miss Miera." He waved. I rolled my eyes and I felt the tears coming on. We're doomed.


End file.
